Idiotic or just make horrible choices. Rather than being with this awesome guy and all of his friends having a good time, I choose to come to faggles house again to watch movies. Why? I hate myself around boys.
I don’t remember the last time I stopped and had a moment to just relax. I have been nonstop busy for the last few months, and I know I will continue to be. I may be putting myself behind schedule right now, but I love the fact that I actually took a nap today. Screw going to the gym, studying, hanging out with people, or finishing my homework right now. I just want to enjoy this small time where I actually can do nothing. *sigh*
Welp. Another great date with a great boy. I really didn’t want you to leave. I actually might be getting a crush. Oh boy, my cute little bike ridin marine. I wish you didn’t have to go so far away though. :/
It’s a concept that is easy to understand. One person to be your partner. Everybody, for the most part, wants and craves this. It’s honestly not hard for me to comprehend, but yet, I still am not “satisfied” talking to only one guy at a time. I don’t know if it is Because I watched my dad date multiple women at a time. Or because of my low self esteem. Its really frustrating that I almost get my self worth through men and I hate it. I am extremely boy crazy and love meeting new people, but I don’t want to be known for that. I don’t want to have “game,” I want a relationship that surpasses everything and everyone. I don’t want to go on dates anymore. I want to just be able to hang out and cuddle and share secrets and all of it and share it with one person. I think it is time to grow up and stop leading guys on for my own satisfaction. I really need to actually learn to be just me by myself.
For all of you who don’t know this beautiful creature of a man I am sorry for you, but I have a creepy lust for him. I refuse to text him back though because I don’t want to sound like an idiot. Well I just saw him walking with the to prettiest girls probably in Reno, and he actually stopped walking with them to say hi to me. Sounds stupid, but I was stoked! “text me back sometime jerk.” haha, okay I guess I can. wooo(: